Images

Mr Potato and the Magnificent Seven – Weds 30th Aug

Fun (verb, noun, more recently adjective). Used as an abstract noun, as in:

(a) anticipation of, or while engaged in an activity, to convince yourself or others, e.g. “hey, it’ll be fun!” “hey, we’re having fun!” by parents making the best of a wet day out, teachers seeking the love of their class during field trips, managers describing team-building exercises, new students during fresher’s week, members of office parties, stag and hen events.

(b) also used in the past tense, particularly in situations involving alcohol and substance abuse, or pronounced while leaving the: hospital, police station, realising you have no dry clothes, bedding etc. e.g. “that was fun!”

Facebook and other forms of social media have proved invaluable in ascertaining that fun was had via photographs and videos of group events. Other indicators of fun taking place include the use of multiple exclamation marks, e.g. “that really was fun!!!”

Special occasions – Tues 29th Aug

One of my favourite places to stop and look at on my daily walks is the Partido fancy dress shop on Western road (Partido: party-do, marvellous!). I must have taken a score of photographs of this one outlet over the past few months and if you scroll down through older entries you’ll find the shop crops up several times.

Whoever is responsible for the window displays clearly takes pride in their job, and the results are both detailed and imaginative, representing something of a pilgrim’s progress for the shop mannequins. There are two young adult models: one male, one female, and a third in the likeness of a girl around ten years of age. Over the past year they have journeyed together in changing festive attire through all of the major holidays that punctuate the British calendar: Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night, Christmas, New Year, Valentines Day and Easter. They have also been decked out in regalia appropriate to other, more all-year round rituals, including birthday party dress, stag and hen night costumes; and on occasions, for no actual ritual, but where their outfits are nevertheless coordinated, on these occasions often themed on a romantic nature.

While, usually, all three models are present in the windows, and sometimes clustered together as a family, at other times the male will be separated off to the other side of the door (as around Mother’s day earlier this year) and, when the theme is of a more adult subject, the girl will be absent as she is clearly under age.

Sometimes one particular display suggests others. A few weeks ago both adult mannequins were dressed as tropical beach goers but, while the male (in the next window, not shown) remains in this pose, and with attendant paraphernalia, the female has now become a mermaid, as a variation on this fantasy.

Will they get engaged and marry? I can see endless further possibilities for displays based on situations like meeting the in laws, their first row, the unexpected arrival, the affair… I must introduce myself to the proprietors sometime and offer these suggestions, I’m sure they’d appreciate my interest. The shop girls quite often stare at me while I’m taking my pictures and are clearly curious about what I’m doing outside their shop.

Pre-School – Sun 27th Aug

It’s very busy on the sea front at the moment. Not with tourists, most of those have fled for their homes since the weather changed. No, I’m talking about juvenile seagulls. There seems to be particular spots on the beach now designated nursery areas and here large groups of them stand together, occasionally squabbling but otherwise pretty much motionless. Elsewhere in town, sometimes taking to the air but mainly on foot, they waddle around on spindly legs with hunched shoulders, squeaking continually like old rusty gates.

The squeaking seems to be important. Perhaps a hangover from only a few weeks ago when they were fed everything, some still follow their parents around demanding attention, but also, every new adventure seems to involve making a lot of noise in the build up to it actually happening. This is particularly so when one of the young birds attempts a short flight, the uncertainty regarding whether being airborne is actually possible linked to the volume of its keening. Other juveniles have started to wander off on their own to investigate the neighbourhood. Given their only way of grasping the world is using their beaks, this means there’s a lot of nibbling going on. It’s definitely nibbling too, not pecking. A few days ago I saw one of them fascinated by a scrap of black cloth as it was blown about by the wind. Each time the wind lifted the fabric the gull would run after it until the fragment settled, where it would once again be subjected to further delicate probing.

Today I came across another juvenile in a secluded corner next to the aquarium (see photo top right). This particular corner being something of a wind trap, the gull shared the space with a paper bag, among other bits of rubbish, all of which were being blown in circles. Despite none of these things being edible, the young gull was completely absorbed in trying to grab the paper bag every time it flew past. Eventually the gull spotted me photographing it. This unwelcome attention was enough for it to stop and, with a look that was uncannily similar to one you might find on the face of a child caught doing something it wasn’t entirely sure it should be doing, it waddled off sulkily.

A little later on the promenade I spotted another (bottom row, second from left). This one has a really big prize, an entire chocolate-filled crêpe someone had dropped on the pavement. As it attempted to drag this banquet across the asphalt to somewhere more secure, leaving a satisfying brown smear in its wake, a whole flock of adult gulls hovered in the air above. Surprisingly, none of them swooped down to steal the crêpe from it’s new owner (which is what usually happens when food is involved). Perhaps these other birds were nervous due to the amount of people walking past, but it sounded to me from their excited cries, more like there was a lot of approval going on, as if they were keeping an eye on the juvenile in case of trouble, but otherwise leaving it to its reward by way of encouragement. A lesson was in progress.

There has been a lot in the papers lately about a new breed of killer gulls rampaging amok in various seaside resorts, snatching dogs, cats and, for all I know, babies from their prams, as this wave of mutants, having overcome their fear of people, plan to take over the world. Indeed I was hoping I could see some of this action and photograph it as it would have been a great addition to the blog, but despite having spent a lot of time on the seafront this year, all I’ve come across is the usual evidence of a parallel community trying to get by and rear their families, occasionally over stepping the mark if a plate of chips or a prawn sandwich is involved.

I suppose because it’s been the summer, journalists have had to struggle a bit harder to find something to fill their columns, and perhaps this topic is better than spreading rumours that we’re all going to be murdered in our beds by immigrants, or that we’re facing a new communist plot that will destroy the economy, only they seem to be suggesting those things are going to happen too.

Diamonds in the gutter – Sat 26th Aug

“We seek to veil ourselves in youth’s desire.
Let the sun shine on, behind me, then!
The waterfall that splits the cliffs’ broad edge,
I gaze at with a growing pleasure, when
A thousand torrents plunge from ledge to ledge,
And still a thousand more pour down that stair,
Spraying the bright foam skywards from their beds.
And in lone splendour, through the tumult there,
The rainbow’s arch of colour, bending brightly,
Is clearly marked, and then dissolved in air,
Around it the cool showers, falling lightly.
There the efforts of mankind they mirror.
Reflect on it, you’ll understand precisely:
We live our life amongst refracted colour.”

Goethe, Faust (translated by A S Kline)

Old words – Tues 25th Aug

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

Paul, Corinthians 13,
(King James Version)

Origins of species – Sat 22nd Aug

Contrary to popular belief, dogs are not descended from wolves. Rather they share a common ancestry, diverging as species between 27,000 and 40,000 years ago. Nevertheless wolves and dogs have very similar mitochondrial DNA (differing by about 0.2%) and are therefore able to interbreed. This accounts for the resemblance some varieties of dog have to wolves, e.g. Huskies, Alsatians. However, it does not explain how Dachshunds happened. Their name may be a translation from the German, meaning ‘badger hound’ but I don’t reckon they just ended up that way as a result of a staple diet of badgers necessitating the development of shorter legs (to go down holes in the ground) via natural selection.

Spectacular – Fri 21st Aug

While sunglasses as such are a relatively recent invention, dating back to the earlier part of the 20th century, tinted lenses have been around for a lot longer. Pliny the Elder wrote that the Emperor Nero liked to watch gladiator matches through emeralds; in 12th century China, court judges used lenses of smoky quartz to hide their emotions from those they were questioning; In the mid 18th Century, James Ayscough began to experiment with blue and green-tinted lenses, believing that these could correct a number of sight conditions; and in the 19th and early 20th centuries, yellow and brown lenses were used in one of the many, pre-penicillin treatments of syphilis (based on the fact that sensitivity to light is one of the symptoms of the disease).

None of these had anything to do with protection from harmful ultraviolet rays. Indeed their popularity, once tinted glass became more widely available, came from their use by film stars in the 1920s. At that time it was commonly believed that sunglasses were worn by the famous to avoid recognition by fans. However, an alternative theory has been suggested more recently: Because of the low sensitivity of early film stock, dangerously high-powered arc lighting was needed on film sets. Prolonged exposure to these gave film stars very red eyes and sunglasses were worn to cover up a multitude of eye conditions. Whatever the reason, even once ultraviolet filters were developed for film-studio lighting, the popularity of wearing sunglasses continued among film stars, and of course the rest of us followed suit.

But how did the wearing of dark glasses by special agents, detectives, fearless but unorthodox crime-fighters etc. become such a cliché? I’m not saying all cops really do wear them (probably the reverse, though, then again, how do you know the man behind you wearing dark glasses isn’t tailing you?) but the image crops up often enough in the cinema and TV for it to have become a familiar association and one I’ve seen transferred to reality in some places, having had some interesting experiences involving Mexican law officers and the secret police of Tamil Nadu, several of whom had a predilection for these items of eyewear. There was also one other occasion:

I’d taken an overnight plane to Athens, arriving about 4am. My connecting boat didn’t leave till that evening so I had time to kill and decided to go and see the Acropolis at dawn. I missed the sunrise but it was still very early on a beautiful clear morning as I began my climb to the top of the hill. Hardly any people were about at that hour and the first one I passed was a man dressed in a dark suit and pale blue shirt open at the collar, standing next to one of the park benches. He was wearing sunglasses and carrying a folded newspaper. The suit surprised me, it seemed a bit formal for the setting, or that time in the morning. Then, a few yards later, I came across another man in a similar suit, light blue open-necked shirt, dark glasses and folded newspaper. Oddly enough, my initial thought when, a little further up the hill, I came across two more in similar clothes and accessories standing together silently, was that I’d stumbled into a gay cruising area. I decided that the suit, sunglasses and newspaper indicated some sort of code, but on seeing a fifth man lurking near some bushes a bit further on, again dressed similarly and with the same props, I began to revise my theory. What gave it away was the loud squawk that came from his newspaper, which, on second glance, seemed to have a short aerial sticking out of it. By the time I’d reach the Parthenon I had spotted about 15 more men, all similarly attired with folded newspapers, which, now I was looking for them, all had short aerials poking out from the top of them.

I have to say that, while I enjoyed the ancient architecture and statues, I was now more interested in finding out what was going on. However, it seemed a breach of etiquette to ask any of the men with folded newspapers, so I gave up and left.

Some time later as I neared the streets below, I heard the approach of a helicopter and, looking round, saw it begin to descend towards the Parthenon. This heightened my curiosity even more, but it was several days before I found out that my visit had coincided with that of Daniel Ortega then President of Nicaragua, who would have been arriving on the helicopter as I left.

At the time it made me laugh to think that I’d stumbled on possibly the most conspicuous plain-clothes operation in history, but it has since occurred to me that the reason why some film stars and certain members of security forces wear sunglasses is not to evoke anonymity, but the complete opposite: to say, I am here, I want you to see me, but don’t get any closer because I am important. If this is the case, then this particular use of sunglasses is not so different from their use by 12th century Chinese interrogators.

The Octopus – Mon 17th Aug

“The Octopus is greedy, sneaky, and voracious, and it will eat anything. It is probably the most omnivorous creature in the sea. Here is the proof: in times of hunger, it will eat one of its own tentacles, thus making up for lack of prey. When better times come, it grows back the missing limb. Nature thus gives it a ready meal in moments of want.”

Aelian, ‘On the Nature of Animals’ written circa 200 ad. Translated by Gregory McNamee