Spooky

Absalom – 30th Oct 2015

“James Denton, not yet inclined for bed, sat him down in an arm-chair and read for a time. Then he dozed, and then he woke, and bethought himself that his brown spaniel, which ordinarily slept in his room, had not come upstairs with him. Then he thought he was mistaken: for happening to move his hand to which hung down over the arm of the chair within a few inches of the floor, he felt on the back of it just the slightest touch of a surface of hair, and stretching it out in that direction he stroked and patted a rounded something. But the feel of it, and still more the fact that instead of a responsive movement, absolute stillness greeted his touch, made him look over the arm. What he had been touching rose to meet him. It was in the attitude of one that had crept along the floor on its belly, and it was, so far as could be recollected, a human figure. But of the face which was now rising to within a few inches of his own no feature was discernible, only hair.”

M. R. James, ‘The Diary of Mr Poynter’, in, ‘M. R. James Collected Ghost Stories’ 1931

Magic marker – 22nd Oct 2015

Today I found a pink highlighter pen in the office where I work. On a strip of paper neatly taped to one side is written the word: ‘doom’. This discovery has deeply unsettled me. I have tried to rationalise my discomfort. After all, I tell myself, if you turn the pen round the word looks like ‘wood’, but this attempt at positive thinking is undermined by the fact that, this way up, the ‘d’ isn’t right. Either it’s back to front or, if it’s a lower-case ‘d’ then the upper part of the letter is missing. And the word is written too neatly to be subject to this kind of oversight. In any case, writing the word ‘wood’ (neatly, but with errors) on the side of a plastic pen seems to me to be even more nonsensical than ‘doom’.

No, I fear that ‘doom’ it is. But why would anyone tape the word ‘doom’ to the side of a pink highlighter pen? Have I stumbled upon a new bureaucratic form of voodoo, practiced by the administrators in the floor below? Or is this one of the secret and sacred tools of senior management? Is this a pen so powerful that, not only is it used to highlight, on some diabolic spreadsheet, the departments destined for ‘reorganization’, but also for deciding the eternal fate of the institution’s employees? And, more worrying still, why has it appeared on my desk?

Methods of divination – Tues 26th May

Since one of today’s photographs includes a fortune-teller’s visitor’s book, I thought I’d write a short list of methods by which we have sought reassurance about the misty unknown. Short? It turns out there are hundreds, possibly thousands of different kinds.

I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised there are so many, after all, we as a species suffer a lot from insecurity. But also, that the means are so wide ranging tells us a lot about our collective histories and who would have done the telling. The majority use things easily to hand for anyone living in a small agricultural community, some tell of streets or encampments, many use our own bodies. The tools of gambling figure heavily of course; all betting is based on predicting future outcomes. One method in particular I was startled by because of how we now use the word.

It’s also worth noting that, in this sprit of using the everyday, and also embracing technological developments, the field of mystical foretelling continues to expand. For instance: “Shufflemancy: the use of an electronic media player such as an electronic playlist, iPod, or other medium wherein one skips a certain number of songs and the lyrics and/or tune of the song is the answer to the divinatory question” (1). I haven’t included this in the list below because the word makes my toes curl (though I bet there’s a form of fortune telling based on toe curling too) not because its a neologism, I like inventing words too, but because it’s so clumsy. Doubtless there are many other recent innovations.

And if you look outside Europe towards Africa, India, China, the indigenous populations of Australia and the Americas, there are many more, both ancient and modern, not only as variations or alternatives but also completely different kinds. Anyway, here is an edited list of well-established methods, limited to those occurring within European traditions:

Abacomancy: by dust
Acultomancy / acutomancy: using needles
Aeromancy: by atmospheric conditions
Agalmatomancy: by statues
Ailuromancy: by watching cats’ movements
Alectryomancy/alectoromancy: by watching a rooster gather corn kernels
Aleuromancy: by flour
Amathomancy: by sand
Ambulomancy: by walking
Anthropomancy: using human entrails
Apantomancy: by chance encounters with animals (alt: using objects at hand)
Arachnomancy: by spiders
Armomancy: by one’s own shoulders
Aruspicina: the study of entrails
Augury: by bird flight formations
Auspicy/auspication by birds (also theriomancy, avimancy, orniscopy)
Batraquomancy/batrachomancy: by frogs
Canomancy: by dogs
Catoptromancy: by examining mirrors placed underwater
Cephaleonomancy/cephalonomancy: by boiling a donkey’s head
Cartomancy: using cards
Choriomancy: by pig’s bladders
Chresmomancy: by the ravings of lunatics
Chronomancy: by apt occasion / by means of time
Clamancy: by random shouts and cries heard in crowds, at night, etc.
Coscinomancy: using a sieve and a pair of shears
Cromnyomancy: using onions
Drimimancy/drymimancy: by bodily fluids
Enthusiasm: speeches by those supposed to be possessed by a divine spirit
Entomomancy/entomancy: by insects
Favomancy: using beans
Gastromancy: by the rumblings of the stomach and guts
Geloscopy: by laughter
Gyromancy: by dizziness
Hagiomancy: by saints
Hepatoscopy/hepatomancy: by liver
Hieromancy/hieroscopy: by studying sacrifices’ entrails
Hippomancy: by horse behavior
Hyomancy: by wild hogs
Ichnomancy: by footprints
Ichthyomancy: by fish behavior (alt: by inspecting fish entrails)
Macromancy: by large objects
Margaritomancy: by bouncing pearls
Mazomancy: by nursing
Micromancy: by small objects
Moromancy: by foolishness
Myomancy: by rodent behavior
Myrmomancy: by ant behavior
Natimancy: by buttocks (also rumpology)
Nephomancy: by clouds
Ololygmancy: by the howling of dogs
Omoplatoscopy: by observing cracks in burning scapulae
Omphalomancy: from the knots in the umbilical cord
Oneiromancy: by dreams
Oromancy: by mountains
Pessomancy: using pebbles (also thrioboly)
Pilimancy: by observing the patterns produced by a collection of human hair.
Podomancy/pedomancy: by the soles of one’s feet
Ptarmoscopy/ptarmoscopie: the interpretation of sneezes
Retromancy: by looking over one’s shoulder
Rhapsodomancy: by poetry
Scarpomancy: by old shoes
Scatomancy / scatoscopy / spatilomancy: by examining excrement
Sciomancy: by shadows
Skatharomancy: by beetle tracks
Somatomancy: by the human form
Spasmatomancy: by convulsions
Stolisomancy: by observing how one dresses
Symbolomancy: by things found on the road
Thumomancy: by means of one’s own soul
Transataumancy: by things accidentally seen or heard
Tyromancy/tiromancy: by cheese
Urticariaomancy: by itches
Xenomancy: using strangers
Xylomancy: by examining wood found in one’s path
Zoomancy: by observing animals

Notes:
(1) Wikipedia

References:
http://phrontistery.info/divine.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methods_of_divination

It’ll turn up… – Mon 11th May

‘He ordered the messenger to continue to the banks of the above-mentioned river Clyde with a fishhook, and to cast the hook into the stream and bring back to him immediately the first fish that was baited and drawn out from the waters. The messenger fulfilled what the saint said and delivered into the presence of the man of God the fish he had captured, which is commonly called a salmon. Kentigern requested that the fish before him be cut and gutted, and he discovered the above-mentioned ring in it. And at once he sent it to the queen by that same messenger. When she saw it and took it back, her heart was filled with joy and her mouth with exaltation and thanksgiving. Her grief turned into joy and the expectation of death into the festivities of praise and deliverance. Therefore, the queen rushed into the midst of everyone’s eyes and returned the ring that had been sought by the king.’

From ‘The Life of Kentigern’, by Jocelyn, a monk of Furness (12th century)
Translation by Cynthia Whiddon Green

http://legacy.fordham.edu/halsall/basis/Jocelyn-LifeofKentigern.asp

Alien encounter (part 2) – Sat 9th May

Several theories have been floated regarding the sensation I described yesterday*. These range from out of body experiences, to comments that I was under the influence of various artificial stimulants. One suggestion: ‘somatic symptom disorder’, does come close – after all, it was certainly ‘all in [or on] my head’ – but only because in reality a seagull had landed on mine in the mistaken belief that it would provide a handy platform from which to eat the (my) aforementioned prawn sandwich.

I suppose it could have been worse. As mentioned in my post of 19th March, Aeschylus the Greek Tragedian was killed outright when an Eagle mistook his head for a rock and dropped a tortoise on him from a great height. At least I (and my sandwich) came out of the encounter unscathed, and it is some comfort to know that now, somewhere on the seafront, a seagull has learned that certain kinds of large pebble will shout “fuck off you little sod!” when landed on.

–

*mainly because facebook truncated my post again, removing the (admittedly somewhat obscure) punchline.

Kyoto rocks – Weds 4th March

Work continues apace on the new sea front developments. This leaves me with mixed feelings. On the one hand, it makes me weep that the council have demolished most of the 40s and 50s architecture, put in yet more shops and re-branded that part of the beach the new ‘creative quarter’. I get a bit funny about things being branded ‘creative’ when the real ‘creatives’ are being driven out of the city either because they can’t afford the increasing rents or because their studios have been demolished to make way for redevelopment… and for that matter, ‘quarter’ of what? What’s the other three quarters doing that’s so different?

On the other hand, I retain an utterly childish delight in any huge mechanical thing that can shovel vast amounts of earth from one place to another, make really big holes in the ground and then fill them with quick-setting slurry.

As a result of this ambivalence I spent a fair bit of time on the sea front today looking at the works in progress, outwardly sneering in righteous indignation while my inner 6-year old waited in forlorn hope for the site foreman to come over and say to me “here you are sonny, do you want a go on the big yellow monster?”

However, the real point of today’s entry is to highlight yet another mystery of the city, that of the zen garden immediately adjoining the building site. This is in reality a patch of mud bordered by low walls, but the mud itself had been combed into a variety of different shapes over the past few months by something big. Yesterday I noticed it was in the shape of a heart, at other times it has been a spiral, wavy lines… today it was combed into a series of concentric circles. I’ve photographed it a few times now, so scroll through some of my previous entries and see for yourself.

Today I also noticed that the diggers and bulldozers can be surprisingly sensitive when used by trained operators. Not a simple case of smashing the ground from here to there but more like old films you see of elephants nudging logs into a pile, or dexterously taking and eating buns proffered by visitors to the zoo.

So, can it be, that one of the construction workers is actually a closet Buddhist who, before starting work in the morning and while the city still sleeps, takes his metal monster and rakes the mud into these designs in an act of contemplation and oneness with the world? I imagine the dawn light filled with the asthmatic Om of mechanical devotion purring sonorously from one of the bulldozers while it completes its lonely task. There always has to be hope.