I’m not usually interested in fridge magnets, but the tourist shops have had some pretty good ones in this year. My favourites are the plastic lobsters with claws on springs that waggle alarmingly every time the toy crustacean is moved. I’ve bought a couple for friends and, with Christmas now approaching (you can tell, the Halloween shop displays are coming down already) I thought I’d better buy a few more just in case. You never know when you might need a present at a moment’s notice and I like them so everyone else should too…

Anyway, so I go into the shop down by the Madeira café to look for lobsters but it seems I’m too late; they’ve all gone. However, I’m thinking there might still be a couple left in a cupboard somewhere, so, I go up to the lady behind the counter and ask, and she has a bit or a root around in her drawers, but comes up from behind the counter to tell me:

“I’m sorry dear, all I can give you is crabs.”

Catching the expression on my face, hers dropped too, and at some speed she started saying:

“Oh dear, oh no, oh my…”

Well, we did have a laugh about it, I mean this is the seaside isn’t it, and now whenever we see each other she winks at me.

It’s true: the old ones really are the best.