I don’t think I know of anyone who actually enjoys doing their end of year accounts but, occasionally, something comes up in the process that stops you searching for yet another displacement activity. The following passage from an insurance company letter, found just after finishing another miniature sculpture made of blu tak, is one such instance:

‘Our standard legal confetti, located on the left of this letter, can be used for information and guidance so you can see how we reference these changes ourselves’

Legal confetti? I have fallen in love with the phrase. It immediately brings to mind ceremonial wigs on hooks in high ceilinged rooms, expansive desks strewn with articles and licences, muffling the surface like snow or, indeed, confetti, or perhaps the baroque language found in every legal document, the whereins and hereinafters; blizzards of verbiage set to confuse any hapless traveller in search of truth, meaning or resolution. The term seemed so right I immediately went in search of its definitive meaning, only to find that there is no such thing; the phrase is a complete invention. This of course delighted me even more.

I then wondered if the word confetti itself might hold a clue to this expanded usage, and found:

Confetti (n.) 1815, from Italian plural of confetto “sweetmeat,” via Old French, from Latin confectum, confectus (see confection). A small candy traditionally thrown during carnivals in Italy, custom adopted in England for weddings and other occasions, with symbolic tossing of paper.
(Online Etymology Dictionary)

and:

…early 19th century (originally denoting the real or imitation sweets thrown during Italian carnivals): from Italian, literally ‘sweets’, from Latin confectum ‘something prepared’, neuter past participle of conficere ‘put together’ (see confect).
(Google)

At first glance, neither of these seemed to offer any hope of meaning in relation to legal practice, but then, thinking about it a bit more I wondered: From the first definition we find the ‘symbolic tossing of paper’ while the second offers ‘something prepared’ and ‘put together’. If we now add the word ‘Legal’ to these meanings, we could arrive at the idea of:

Something symbolic in place of substantiality, prepared specifically for the purpose of offering to participants at moments of legal import.

Or more succinctly, perhaps:

Something purely symbolic to be tossed at clients.

Bingo!

Who is the author of this simple phrase, so light, joyful even, and yet profound? Are they young? Perhaps a bored poet forced into the field out of a simple need to pay the rent, or out of a need to prove to the parents of their beloved that they are more than just a wastrel? Are they someone far older, close to retirement and so wise to the world they no longer fear anything? Whoever they are, their talents are clearly wasted in their current occupation and I look forward to hearing of their emergence as a great story-teller or dramatist one day in the near future. I hope they come across this piece, just so they know they have been recognised and, I hope, understood.