I was a bit miffed we only came 3rd in the pub quiz last night, losing points on a question I should have known the answer to about a particular patron saint. So today I spent some time engaged in hagiographical research on the web. In the process I came across several lists of saints, plus what they are patrons of. All the sites seem to be respectable, including one Catholic resource, where I have taken the following from (1), though discovering that TV, advertising and radiologists all have their own heavenly representatives did make me doubt its authenticity. Nevertheless, I suppose even the biggest religions have to move with the times, although I am now wondering who the patron saints of computer programmers and quiz show hosts might be.

The attribution of an area of human suffering, or a profession, on the whole seems to follow a simple logic. For example, St Joseph is the patron saint of carpenters, cabinet makers etc. Well he would be, wouldn’t he? Jesus’s dad was a carpenter. It turns out he was also patron of Belgium, married couples and pioneers – these other areas seem to me to be a bit more obscure, and what isn’t mentioned on any of the sites is that he is also patron saint of cuckolds (think about it for a moment and you’ll see that makes sense too).

But I had no idea that so many of these martyrs and miracle workers were such multi-taskers, and have been quite amazed by the sheer variety of what they represent. Why is Saint Peter the Martyr the patron, not only of Inquisitors. but also Midwives? Is there a link between these two professions? And then there is Saint Dymphna the patron of Family harmony, Insanity, Mental illness, Nerves and Runaways. Does this point to her having a troubled childhood?

Anyway, here’s an edited version of the list. It was quite long so I‘ve left out the obvious ones you’ll probably already know, and cut it down to my favourites. I think it’s nice that whatever your problem, there’s someone upstairs who might intercede on your behalf:

Agnes: Chastity and Girl Scouts
Anne: Grandmothers, Mothers, Women in labor and Horse riders
Anthony: Lost articles, the Poor, Amputees and Cemetery workers
Barbara: Ammunition workers, Architects, Builders, Miners, Storms and Sudden death
Bartholomew: Plasterers
Benedict: Monks and Poisoning
Bernadine: Advertising
Bernadino: Impulsive and uncontrolled gambling
Bonaventura: Bowel disorders
Bridget: Ireland and Fallen women
Catherine of Sienna: Italy, Jurors and Fire prevention
Clare of Assisi: Television
Dennis: France and Headaches
Dymphna: Family harmony, Insanity, Mental illness, Nerves and Runaways
Elizabeth: Separated spouses and Difficult marriages
Florian: Austria, Firefighters and chimney sweeps
Francis De Sales: Confessors, the Deaf, Journalists and Teachers
Genesius: Actors, Comedians, Dancers, Epilepsy and Lawyers
Gerard: Pregnant women and those Falsely accused
Joseph: Belgium, Carpenters, Married couples and Pioneers
Jude: Desperation and Hopeless causes
Maurice: Infantrymen, Cramp and Swordsmiths
Maximilian Kolbe: Drug Addiction
Michael: Battles, Germany, Grocers, Police officers, Radiologists, Seafarers
Saint Peter the Martyr: Inquisitors and Midwives
Saint Scholastica: Convulsions in Children and Rain

(1) http://www.catholic-saints.info/patron-saints/list-of-patron-saints-patronage.htm