I seem to have been put on someone’s mail list as a manager, and regularly get emails inviting me to different corporate training weekends, focus groups, sandpit sessions, conferences, consultations, and other events larded with the latest jargon. All of these go straight into the trash file. Well, all except this one, which I append for your delight:

As every dog owner knows, it takes a lot of time and patience to train a dog–whether she’s a puppy or an adult dog learning new behaviors. 1000 Best Dog Training Secrets is packed full of useful training tips for new and seasoned dog owners from two experts in the field.

The easy-to-follow advice covers everything from basic skills to socialization, obedience training, manners, tricks and more. ‘X’ and ‘Y’, owners and operators of ‘Z’ Training and Education school in N.E. offer insight into handling dogs at all stages of development from brand new puppy to geriatric, so it’s never too late to get started.

You will learn about:

• Establishing leadership
• Socialization–learning from human leaders
• Obedience training
• Developing life skills
• Teaching manners
• Dog etiquette
• Behavior problem prevention and solutions
• Toys, games and leisure activities

Given that the above content is so similar to all the other emails I receive, I suspect that ‘dog’ is the latest euphemism for employee.

(names removed out of courtesy to the owners)